Enhancing your Birth Experience: The Role of Birth Partners
Let’s start with the fundamentals…what is a birth partner? It’s someone who you choose to have by your side to support you during labour. If it feels right, you may decide to have more than one birth partner with you. But the important word here is CHOOSE. The only people that should be around you during labour are those who you feel totally at ease with, who you can be yourself around and who will help (not hinder) your feelings of relaxation. So, consider this very carefully and invite only those who you WANT to be there. If any mothers, mothers-in-law, friends or other family members have invited themselves to your labour against your wishes, have a gentle word with them in advance. This will put your mind at ease as you approach labour.
Birth partner kisses pregnant woman's bump. A positive relationship between birth partner and mother is a great foundation for a positive birth.
So, you’ve chosen your birth partner/s…great, but what makes a GOOD birth partner?
Below, I have outlined 6 important qualities of someone who will be brilliant on the day, so much so that when you look back, you’ll think, wow, I couldn’t have done it without them.
1. They are involved
Not to be overlooked! Do you really want your birth partner to be aimlessly scrolling on their phone whilst you’re in need of support. If you’re wishing your birth partner would “just do something” the frustration you feel will be exactly the opposite to the feelings of ease and relaxation that are conducive to an easier birth. There are many things a birth partner can do during labour, so its good for them to know the specifics so they don’t feel like a spare part.
2. They are knowledgeable
They know what to expect on the day, they understand the birth process and what signs to look out for. They will recognise the different phases of labour and how they can best support you during each one. They will be aware of the various choices you may be faced with and will grasp the pros and cons of these options so they can help you to navigate this on the day (see number 5 below).
3. They know what you need during labour.
You’ve spoken with your birth partner BEFORE labour and have discussed your wants and wishes. Together you have written a birth plan; your birth partner can ensure your choices are known to all healthcare professionals involved on the day. Discussing your wishes beforehand will ensure you are both on the same page and your birth partner can confidently offer you the support you need throughout.
4. They are calm and organised
The last thing you want is for your birth partner to be running around like a headless chicken… “love, where’s the birth pool”, “what did you do with the birth plan”. Your job is to focus on birthing your baby, so being questioned by your flustered birth partner is not going to help you stay relaxed. Being relaxed is one of THE most important aspects of a more efficient, comfortable and positive birth. It’s important that you and your birth partner have planned ahead, in support of your wants and wishes.
5. They speak up for you, so you can stay ‘in the zone’
Sometimes there are decisions that need to be made during labour, that weren’t part of ‘Plan A’ on your birth plan. Ideally, you have written a birth plan with various options (i.e., Plan B and C) for different scenarios to help your healthcare professionals follow your wishes no matter what path your birth takes. However, if something falls outside of this or they would like to confirm a decision, your birth partner is the best person for them to speak to in the first instance. It’s best to avoid engaging the thinking part of your brain whilst you’re in labour and for you to stay in your ‘birthing zone’ as much as possible. Your birth partner (who knows your wants and wishes) can help to ensure your birth plan is supported and if there is an important decision to be made (outside of your plan) they can help you to navigate this.
6. They share their wishes and feelings with you.
Maybe they want to cut the cord – is this something you would be happy with? Perhaps they want to ‘catch’ baby. Your birth partner may have thoughts on labour too and it’s a good idea to share these prior to giving birth so you can both have a positive experience. Its also worth mentioning that if your birth partner is anxious or unsettled, this is likely to impact you too, so working through these feelings prior to labour is a MUST.
My hypnobirthing course covers all of the above so that both you and your birth partner will be calm, confident and knowledgeable on the day.
What next?
I would love to hear from you, book a FREE discovery call with me to find out how hypnobirthing could be a game changer for your birth.
If you’re ready to sign up to a course, book here.